About Me

My story

I was raised to be extra with all the girliest accessories, pink and ruffles everywhere.

It’s no surprise that now as an adult, I am the girliest girl to many who know me.

I am the coworker that decorates her desk with all pink flowers.

I am that friend that dresses too fancy for a casual meetup.

I am the girlfriend that wants flowers for every birthday, valentine and anniversary.

I love that I am girly, and my mom spoiled me as much as she did when I was growing up in Vietnam.

Growing up in Vietnam

My dad left & immigrated to the U.S. shortly after I was born, along with my grandpa and uncles, while my mom and I stayed back.

My parents made this difficult decision so that I could ultimately have a better life.
He can earn more money in the U.S. to send back home to us. It was a typical story for many Vietnamese families since the earning potential in Vietnam was not enough to provide a better future.

So from there, my mom raised me for the next seven years.

Through every terrible toddler stage,
through all the accidents and troubles I would get myself into because of my ADHD,
and through all the difficult lessons, she didn’t know how to teach but tried her best to.

First-generation

Vietnamese-American

At 7, our family reunited when my mom and I immigrated to San Jose, California, finally reuniting with our dad after 7+ years apart. In the following years, my two younger sisters came into the picture.

Despite doing most of my growing up here, I’ve never considered San Jose as my hometown. When I think about childhood, I reminisce about happy memories from Vietnam. I remember running through the fields in the countryside. I remember trips to the beach and hanging out with many friends.

For a long time, I had subconsciously erased the years I grew up in San Jose because these were painful years for me emotionally. As I grew up, I suppressed a lot of hurt, anger, and fear, numbing my emotions to survive.

I hope by opening up old emotional wounds; I can heal my inner child and reconnect with my parents.

I’m the first in the family to attend college. Breaking the cycle of poverty.
University of California, Irvine.
C/O 2016
In attending college, I also struggled tremendous with my college decision and major. I had to break the family expectations placed on me to go into the medical field. My parents had wanted me to attend UC Berkeley, where I had received an acceptance. For them it was all about pride and glory, while for me, I needed to go as far away as possible from home. I needed to move to Southern California, where I would be 7 hours away; so that I could finally have my freedom and learn about myself.
I also fought tremendously with my parents and broke their expectations for a traditional and appropriate relationship when I moved in with my boyfriend(now-husband).
Going against their wish and forcing them to trust our relationship and look at how happy (AND MARRIED) we are now.
The last barrier to break.
Breaking the intergenerational emotional trauma we experience as a result of our parents tough love parenting.
By healing myself, I hope it’ll mend the generations around me - my parents, my sisters, and also my future children.

To go back in time and tell my young self that I was good enough just the way I was.

That my smile wasn’t too ugly. That my laugh wasn’t too loud. And that my personality was just the right amount of lady-like.

The way our parents raise us has a profound impact on us.

Many of us from immigrant families have long endured the emotional pain of our parent’s tough love.

That’s because that’s the only technique our parents know; it’s embedded deep into their beliefs because of how they were raised.
The only reasoning is that they had it worst and are doing a much better job than their parents.

And while that all may true, it doesn’t make it ok.

All it takes is one cycle breaker to heal the emotional pain passed from generation. I’m going through the journey of embracing my imperfections, healing the unsafe child, and forgiving my parents for trying their best.